Here come the "Trump/Hitler's Skull Fragment
2016" bumper stickers.
The wait is over. Finally, the American people know
who will lead the country in the fortunate event that Republican presidential
nominee Donald Trump—should he be elected by a quasi-retarded
electorate—becomes mercilessly pelted into nonexistance with a ball-peen
hammer. Today, amid a rally in the backwoods outpost of Schlongdoodle,
Tennessee, Trump announced the infamous skull fragment of Adolf Hitler as his
running mate. Although the announcement itself was merely the incoherent
rambling of a dayglow crud spelunker, media present pieced together segments of
Trump's stream-of-consciousness brain dysentery, "Proud to
announce…running alongside me...Hitler's skull fragment…fits nicely in my
breast pocket…calcium deposits…sideways pumpernickel miter saw…great deal
maker, despite being an inanimate scrap…it'll be great." The news was
gradually absorbed by the infantile brains of Evangelical meth heads and
cockamamie dweeb-holes at the event.
Furthermore, if elected president, Trump vows to
nominate Pol Pot's scrotum, preserved in a Big Gulp of formaldehyde, for the
Supreme Court.
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