Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Trump/Hitler's Skull Fragment 2016

Here come the "Trump/Hitler's Skull Fragment 2016" bumper stickers.

The wait is over. Finally, the American people know who will lead the country in the fortunate event that Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump—should he be elected by a quasi-retarded electorate—becomes mercilessly pelted into nonexistance with a ball-peen hammer. Today, amid a rally in the backwoods outpost of Schlongdoodle, Tennessee, Trump announced the infamous skull fragment of Adolf Hitler as his running mate. Although the announcement itself was merely the incoherent rambling of a dayglow crud spelunker, media present pieced together segments of Trump's stream-of-consciousness brain dysentery, "Proud to announce…running alongside me...Hitler's skull fragment…fits nicely in my breast pocket…calcium deposits…sideways pumpernickel miter saw…great deal maker, despite being an inanimate scrap…it'll be great." The news was gradually absorbed by the infantile brains of Evangelical meth heads and cockamamie dweeb-holes at the event.

Furthermore, if elected president, Trump vows to nominate Pol Pot's scrotum, preserved in a Big Gulp of formaldehyde, for the Supreme Court.

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