"Hey Matt, if you're not too busy today, mind picking me up a carton of Benson and Hedges full-flavored, regular, gold-form, hard-pack, 100's while you're out? It's gonna be a long weekend."
No Darcy, not at all.
Darcy enjoys Benson and Hedges cigarettes. Life is a short shimmy in the sunlight, and next-door-neighbors are a privilege. Darcy, the gravelly voiced widow who has a habit of appearing spontaneously in my doorway to offer a half-eaten custard pie, is my privilege.
Darcy shimmies to the tune of two packs of Benson and Hedge's a day. Like a California forest fire swan diving into an Olympic-sized swimming pool filled with ethanol while being pissed on by a grizzly bear drunk on gasoline, Darcy smokes.
A Benson and Hedges cigarette is her man-mistress and the elegant touch of the filter caressing her pursed lips is her taboo bareback romp in the naval yards. The finishing puff of a sassy smoke searing the tip of the filter is nothing less than the messy money-shot of premium flavor.
"There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's," Darcy assures me, "just as there is no wrong way to smoke a Benson and Hedges.
Darcy enjoys Benson and Hedges cigarettes. Life is a short shimmy in the sunlight, and next-door-neighbors are a privilege. Darcy, the gravelly voiced widow who has a habit of appearing spontaneously in my doorway to offer a half-eaten custard pie, is my privilege.
Darcy shimmies to the tune of two packs of Benson and Hedge's a day. Like a California forest fire swan diving into an Olympic-sized swimming pool filled with ethanol while being pissed on by a grizzly bear drunk on gasoline, Darcy smokes.
A Benson and Hedges cigarette is her man-mistress and the elegant touch of the filter caressing her pursed lips is her taboo bareback romp in the naval yards. The finishing puff of a sassy smoke searing the tip of the filter is nothing less than the messy money-shot of premium flavor.
"There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's," Darcy assures me, "just as there is no wrong way to smoke a Benson and Hedges.
“I have explored many erotic ways of
consuming a refreshing Benson and Hedges. I am known in some circles as a
walking Benson and Hedges Kama Sutra. I call this particular smoking style the
Congressman; one has to be quite nimble. In fact, I once won favor with JFK by
propositioning the president with a smoking position I prefer to call Lady of
the Lips" she declared nostalgically as she strained earnestly but
ineffectively to bend in a such a way. "However I have grown older and
ultimately less flexible. Regardless, Mr. President was, to say the
least, intrigued."
Darcy does enjoy her Benson and Hedges. Although the once white walls of her modest one-bedroom apartment now radiate a healthy orange glow--like the gut of a gigantic peach--I never say no to her half-eaten custard pie.
They taste good. They tase good like a Benson and Hedges should.
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