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Saturday, January 7, 2012

Words of Wisdom Clichés: Reworded


Old: If you want the rainbow, you have to put up with the rain.
New: If you want cheap rent, you got to put up with the drive-by shootings.

Old: You can't get blood from a stone.
New: You can't get breast milk from a Yule log.

Old: The early bird catches the worm.
New: The earliest worm to rise is the mostly likely to be caught by a bird.

Old: Don't count your chickens before they hatch.
New: Don't inventory your baseball cards before the trading deadline.

Old: An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
New: A white chocolate molten cake a day, the doctor will stay.

Old: Keep your eye on the ball.
New: Keep your eye on your balls, and check for lumps.

Old: Better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all.
New: Better to have loathed and retained, then to have never loathed at all.

Old: Keep your head out of the clouds and your feet on the ground.
New: Don't jump

1 comment:

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